Penton: Dodgers appear to be invincible

By Bruce Penton

With spring training camps under way in Florida and Arizona, it’s time to bring out the hyperbole machine to try to foretell what will happen in 2024.

Los Angeles Dodgers are going to be so dominant in the National League, they may go 162-0. OK, 153-9 at worst. They may be baseball’s best team ever. They could have the home-run champion, the most valuable player, the rookie of the year and the Cy Young award winner. The commissioner’s office may step in “for the betterment of baseball.” They may clinch the pennant by the Fourth of July.

How can the Dodgers possibly not win the World Series?

Manager Dave Roberts already had an all-star lineup, led by superstars Freddie Freeman and Mookie Betts. They then signed baseball sensation Shohei Ohtani, who led the American League with 44 home runs for the L.A. Angels last year and who won’t pitch again until 2025 due to off-season surgery. The Dodgers also won the free-agent race for another Japanese superstar pitcher, Yoshinobu Yamamoto, who is reportedly a better pitcher than Ohtani. With an apparently limitless supply of money, the Dodgers signed free-agent pitcher Tyler Glasnow, who was 10-7 with Tampa Bay last year. He will join Yamamoto, Bobby Miller (11-4 last year), Tony Gonsolin (8-5), Walker Buehler (6-3 in 2022 before an injury shut him down for the entire 2023 season, Dustin May (4-1) and future Hall of Fame Clayton Kershaw, who signed a one-year contract for his 17th season after undergoing off-season shoulder surgery.

And because a team can never have enough hitting, former Blue Jay and Seattle Mariner Teoscar Hernandez, who hit 26 home runs for the Mariners last year and has 159 homers in his eight-year career, signed as a free agent with the Dodgers.

Because Ohtani’s $700 million contract calls for $680 million to be deferred until after he retires, the Dodgers have circumvented some of the luxury-tax penalties they would otherwise have faced.

The Dodgers (100 wins) and Atlanta Braves (104) were the only two N.L. teams to win 100 or more games last year, and both were eliminated in their opening playoff rounds. Baltimore, the only A.L. team to win more than 100 games, also went out in the fist round of playoffs. Which means, of course, that regular-season success doesn’t always translate to the post-season. The situation may look different come October, but right now, on the eve of the ’24 season, it looks like the Dodgers, in a breeze. A story on MLB.com said the obvious: “We're looking at one of the most loaded teams in recent memory.”

  • Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, after Canadian swimmer Betty Brussel sets records in the 100-to 104-year-old age class in Saanich, B.C at the age of 99 (turning 100 in July): “This beats the previous record of drowning.”

  • Headline at fark.com: “Good news: Rob Manfred retiring. Bad news: In 2029.”

  • Super 70s Sports: “Every time Frank Sinatra attended a Dodgers game he permitted Tommy Lasorda to point out one person he wanted dead.”

  • Super 70s Sports. remembering from 1973 the greatest racehorse of all time: “The fastest times ever recorded in each Triple Crown race: Kentucky Derby: Secretariat, 1:59 2/5; Preakness Stakes: Secretariat, 1:53; Belmont Stakes: Secretariat, 2:24.”

  • Headline at The Beaverton, Canada’s parody website: “Auston Matthews vows to work on his ‘pass to a guy who passes to a guy who scores’ skills so he can finally deserve MVP.”

  • Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel: “The sports betting industry recorded revenue of nearly $11 billion last year, according to the American Gaming Association. How can that be? Every serious sports bettor I ever talk to always tells me how much they’re winning!”

  • Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, during the Steph Curry-Sabrina Ionescu three-point shooting competition: “Man, if you can't enjoy watching this, give pro cornhole a try.”

  • RJ Currie of sportsdeke.com: “At the Scotties, Team Canada first-rock thrower Briane Harris was ruled ineligible to play just hours before the tournament start — with no explanation given. Rather than a lead-off story, we got a lead-out story.”

  • Headline at theonion.com: “Victor Wembanyama’s Head Lodged Between Rim And Backboard Again”

  • From fark.com: “Mets IR list has arrived at spring training.”

  • Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun: “The injury to Mark Stone in Vegas gives crafty GM Kelly McCrimmon all kinds of LTIR (long-term injury reserve) money to play with as the trade deadline approaches. No doubt, Stone will be back for the playoffs, where dollars don’t count and the creative McCrimmon will be front of the trading line with money to spend.”

  • Another one from Simmons: “If NBA players don’t cover anybody during the season why would they be expected to cover anyone in an All-Star game?” 

  • Another one from fark.com: “Auston powers his way to  reach 50 goals. Yeah, baby.”

Care to comment? Email brucepenton2003@yahoo.ca

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